Stu Monroe is a hard-working Southern boy of no renown and a sick little monkey of great renown. He has a beautiful wife, Cindy, and an astonishingly wacky daughter, Gracie. His opinions are endorsed by absolutely no one…except www.HorrorTalk.com!

If You're Going To Burn That Flag Then You'd Better Be Fast...........

If You're Going To Burn That Flag Then You'd Better Be Fast...........

I really do try not to get off an angry rant too terribly often. I mean, we've all got shit that rubs us the wrong way. Inside of that broad spectrum of shit there are subcategories to separate all of the shit. Is it just me? Am I compartmentalizing too much?

My wife will be the first to tell you that I have a LOT of pet peeves. I admit it. I am easily pissed off, although I rarely ever let it out because of my hideous temper (that's for the protection of everyone around me). Ranting and raving to my nearest and dearest is about as far as that ever goes. I can think of a metaphorical million things that grind my gears:

  • When people start from a negative position and assume shit without any facts
  • The same excuse over and over again, especially when you've already discredited it
  • Bad grammar
  • Bad spelling
  • People who say "ciao!!"
  • When you're on break reading and someone sits down next to you and starts talking.....was it not fucking obvious that I am reading??!
  • People with poor hygiene
  • People who don't understand the "3-foot" or "personal bubble" rule
  • Judgmental people who feel the need to express their displeasure at what you're doing......we are all judgmental to some degree, but feeling okay with criticizing me is presumptuous and rude (and will probably get you fucked up)
  • Modern pop music......also new country.......why the fuck are you in skinny, bedazzled jeans and a shirt that's 8 sizes too small?
  • One-trick conversational ponies.........broaden your horizons and find more than one subject to talk about already
  • Bosses/authority figures who think that putting a direct insult inside of a joke makes it any less of an insult
  • The asshole who drives all the way to the end of the closing lane before trying to get in
  • The hypocrite motorcycle driver who bobs and weaves through traffic at 90 mph but also bitches about people not watching out for motorcyclists
  • Cockroaches 
  • All insects for that matter
  • Actually, fuck every insect on Earth!!
  • The Dallas Cowboys
  • When someone else's dog takes a shit on my lawn
  • When MY dog takes a shit on someone else's lawn, because then I have to pick it up
  • People who consider golf a sport
  • Living within 5 miles of Texas Motor Speedway on race weekend
  • I-35 construction

You get the point. The thing about all of the stupid things on that list is that they are things that I have learned to deal with and shrug off every single day of my life. It's easy enough. You just have to tell yourself it's not worth the jail time/hassle/ugly confrontation. That's easy for me because I detest confrontation. I can do it if I have to, but I try to stay out of situations where it's likely. Life is easier that way, and turning the other cheek can occasionally be a very healthy thing to do.

However, there is one thing that you can do that I can assure you will get your head pulled off of your fucking shoulders by yours truly:

Desecrate the flag of the United States of America.

Every video that I have seen of these gutless, godless, dickless, brainless fucking heathens burning our flag makes me want to do things the devil would be ashamed to do. It's like an instant curtain of red that comes over my field of vision. That shit isn't "freedom of speech". It's treason, plain and simple. It's sacrilege. 

Whatever injustice you feel like you're protesting by burning that flag is NOT the fault of the United States of America. The injustices in this country are the result of shitty people taking advantage of the system or taking advantage of the position of limited power that their career provides them. Those kinds of shitbags have always existed and will continue to do so. It's human nature. Sad but true, folks.

Is there racism in this country? Absolutely. Is there corruption and scandal in this country? You bet your ass there is. Is someone, somewhere, getting taken advantage of right now? It's a 100% certainty. Is this behavior confined to the good old USA? Absolutely not. It's worldwide. Shitheads are universal; they speak all languages and salute all flags. 

There's nothing wrong with peaceful protest. There's nothing wrong with espousing your opinion about how fucked up you feel that things are in this country. You are, after all, speaking. You are free to do that. It's just my humble opinion, but the ACT of burning the flag is not the annoying (but ultimately harmless) rambling of someone with an ax to grind. 

Burning the US flag is spitting in the face of everyone who ever died for that flag. It's the equivalent of walking into Arlington National Cemetery and pissing on a veteran's grave. Chances are you've got some older members of your family who served in World War 2, Korea, Vietnam, Desert Storm, Iraq or Afghanistan. Would you brashly whip out that lighter and torch Old Glory in front of one of them? Would you really? If the answer is yes then I will, at least, give you credit for not lacking the courage of your convictions. 

Don't take that as a compliment, though. It'll be cold comfort while I'm beating you half to death. Your outrage will not protect you. If you're going to do something that final and extreme then don't be surprised when you get dealt with. It's not a joke. Having the "right" to do it does not mean that anyone will get there in time enough to protect you. 

Come to think of it, the same thing goes for the protesters that are out blocking traffic and causing roads to be shut down. Are you fucking retarded? Would you like to die today? What's to stop that first row of cars from running you down like a cat with a bad leg? Your sign? That sign isn't going to help you in the slightest. As a matter of fact it might make a great target if it's big and bright.

I'm still having a little difficulty understanding all of the protesting from the Left, anyways. I find it kind of funny that us "gun toting, Bible thumping" types are supposed to be the real nutjobs, but you didn't see mass protests and flag burning when Obama won in '08 or '12. We may not have been very fucking happy about it, but we didn't show our asses and act like a bunch of damn fools. It reeks of the lazy and entitled whining because shit didn't go their way. 

Why can't you just do your "protesting" and "demonstrating" in a safer and more sane fashion? Is that too much to ask? Is it really? Maybe you could just piss and moan on Facebook or Twitter like your counterparts that aren't fucking douchebags, eh? Does that sound alright?

I'm merely advising that you remember Newton's Third Law? Remember that one? I'll refresh your memory: FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE REACTION.

Subtle enough for you? 

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