Stu Monroe is a hard-working Southern boy of no renown and a sick little monkey of great renown. He has a beautiful wife, Cindy, and an astonishingly wacky daughter, Gracie. His opinions are endorsed by absolutely no one…except www.HorrorTalk.com!

MTV's "New Year's Resolutions for White Guys".....this WHITE GUY's response

MTV's "New Year's Resolutions for White Guys".....this WHITE GUY's response

Holy shit, MTV. Anyone with a brain has been able to see your one-sided agenda for years now (and I watch absolutely nothing on your garbage channel anyways), but you've gone and shit the bed properly on this one. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for the meeting of the minds at the corporate MTV think-tank that produced this gem (assuming they make barf buckets with neck straps for said flies).

New Years Resolutions for White Guys? That's what you've got for us? Are you going to follow that up with New Years Resolutions for Black Guys? White Girls? Black Girls? Muslim guys? Gay guys? Tri-gender subhumanoids who identify as attack helicopters? Holy sweet baby Jesus, where did we get so far off of the tracks?

The biggest and most obvious problem with your video is that IT'S FUCKING RACIST!!! The whole thing is a bunch of pots and kettles having a multi-hole gangbang of hypocrisy and irony. The fact that you were stupid enough to even put that video into the world shows how out of touch you are with virtually everyone except the candy-asses that need a "safe place" for their feelings. At least you have one group supporting you, MTV. It's a shame, too...........MTV gave us so many great things in their heyday- Beavis & Butthead, Liquid TV, The State, & actual music videos by artists that wrote their own shit and had legit musical talent. 

You're using blatant racism and trying to disguise it as counter-racism, but anyone with a brain can see through that shit in a heartbeat. The only true counter-racist tactic that is worth a shit is the Golden Rule. Anyone remember that one? You know- the one that says "do unto others as you'd have done to you". If you do your homework you will see that it is the only common thread between virtually all religions (including Satanism ha ha ha....it's true). 

Wanna hear something that may shock you? I'll type it in all caps so no one misses it. Ready? Here goes: I'M WHITE AND MY RESOLUTIONS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SKIN COLOR!! That's right, folks. I don't spend one second of any day thinking about the fact that I'm white. I don't secretly sit around an think "damn it's good to be white". Never happens. 

I am fully cognizant and proud of my heritage as a white man and as a Southern man of true Confederate heritage. Do you know why? Because I didn't do a damn thing wrong!! My family didn't own slaves!! We were poor farmers. The story of my family is like the overwhelming majority of most white folks. Deal with it. 

As for the minority (pun intended) of assholes who do give white folks (men in particular) a bad name? We (meaning the aforementioned overwhelming majority) don't want anything to do with those stereotypical cavemen cocksuckers. Your image of the white man is highly outdated.

Let me communicate this to you again (in patented "all-caps"): YOUR IMAGE OF THE WHITE MAN IS HIGHLY OUTDATED. Get some new material, champ. Try actually being half as smart as you think you are, you never silent majority of whiny, judgmental, callow shitheads. 

I am literally begging the white folks out there to not buy into the notion that you should feel "white guilt". History does NOT mean that you are doomed to live under the yolk of guilt for the mistakes of those who came before you. If that were the case then we wouldn't get anywhere, now would we? Besides, there are plenty of people being enslaved, killed, abused, & generally shit on all across the world by people who aren't white. Who's to blame for all the atrocities in Africa today? Is it white folks? Is it? Really?

If you're reading this then I hope you are smart enough to not believe in the CREATED PROBLEMS of the New Order of Douchebaggery. That is what they are doing, you know- making up issues and telling you how to feel.

You're better than that, my friends.

-One utterly unapologetic white guy

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