Stu Monroe is a hard-working Southern boy of no renown and a sick little monkey of great renown. He has a beautiful wife, Cindy, and an astonishingly wacky daughter, Gracie. His opinions are endorsed by absolutely no one…except!


Well, here we are. I've got some shit to say. For the record, I am finally starting a blog because I have had so damn many people over the years tell me I should. It's as simple as that. If you don't want to read it or if I offend you then go away. My feelings won't be hurt too badly.

Notice that website name? It's! Now, now....I know what you're thinking: "Who does this asshole think he is? MY LEVEL?!!" Let me explain.

I don't think I'm on a "higher level" than you or anybody else. Hell, my level changes every day. Sometimes it changes by the minute. I have never (and will never) pretend to be a saint. I'm quite the sinner, but that doesn't make me a bad guy, per se. I dug that name simply because (like the rest of you, if you're being honest with your damn selves) sometimes I'm a fantastic human being with noble goals and a giving heart. Sometimes I'm downright depraved and a little despicable.

Get it? My LEVEL is different depending on whether I have seen some inspiring shit to amaze me into believing in the nobility of the human race or some heinous shit that disgusts me into praying for someone to push the damn button and end it all. My LEVEL is different depending on whether you are an amazing person who is bringing something to the table or whether you are a total cock and the sound of your voice makes me want to dig out my eardrums with a melon baller...slowly, so I don't miss any vital parts. My LEVEL might just depend on whether or not I got laid. Who knows? I've never lied about being crazier than a shithouse rat.

I put this blog out there with a handful of caveats. Y'all ready? Here goes:

  • I am a fucking potty mouth. I make no apologies. I've never censored myself unless good manners or my paycheck demands it. At first, a lot of y'all reading this will be people who know me, shouldn't be surprised.
  • I'm about to lie to you with a smile: I DO NOT DISCUSS RELIGION OR POLITICS. See? I lied, as this is true 90% of the time. I reserve the right to rant on occasion. It's rare, however. I grew up believing those two subjects are not good conversation.
  • I work for a company that can be a bit, restrictive, on what I (as a manager) say in "public". If you work for the same company as me then treat work conversations like Fight Club. Remember the rules. I've still got bills to pay. They don't need to know what I say and do online, am I right?
  • I'm not seeking to offend, but I don't particularly give a fuck if I do. This isn't personal. It's just me.

I will close this out (in my trademark, colorful, long-winded fashion) by telling you what I am incredibly passionate about if for no other reason than to prepare you (if you even give enough of a fuck to read this on the regular) for the things I talk about A LOT. I am, above all, a born and bred Clemson Tiger. I eat, sleep, breathe, piss, shit, and literally glow orange and purple. Y'all know this. I am a movie whore. I am an entertainment whore in general. I think Stephen King is the greatest living writer of our generation. I can talk horror all day long like I've got a fucking PhD in it. The Nintendo Generation is the last great generation. I do (as I alluded to before) have strong political and religious opinions, but I prefer to keep it light and fluffy like good scrambled eggs. Marijuana should be legalized, and I think it is one of the most telling signs of how ass-backwards this country (THE GREATEST FUCKING COUNTRY ON EARTH!!) is. Don't get me started. I do have a Confederate Flag tattooed on my arm. I am an unabashedly loud and proud Southern Man from Clemson, South Carolina and this does not make me a fucking racist. Did I mention I don't apologize for my beliefs? You shouldn't either. That's life advice.

So there you have it. I've got to get up early in the morning tomorrow (quite a nasty change for an extreme graveyard shifter like me), so I'll get off my little soapbox for now. I'll be putting this out there because I have a lot of shit to say.

I make no promises as to the veracity or political correctness of it. I do promise it will always come from my heart, such as it is. I'm literally not capable of sugar-coating or pussy-footing.

In Defense of the Remake