It's Father's Day.....and I GOT MY CAKE!!
I'm about to get a little cliched on y'all for a minute (in my own inimitable fashion). I won't take much of your time. I promise. I'm writing this after a long-ass shift in The Box, and I do need my sleep. However, I was overcome with simple emotion at how awesome my girls are and how damn lucky I am.
I also realized I kind of deserve it. I'm not saying that in a braggadocios way; it's just the realization that the effort a person puts in actually pays off.
I'll not go into deep detail as I'm pretty private, but Dads were a bit hit or miss growing up (to say the least). My old man was a damn good man with demons to contend with, and he didn't have a stellar success rate. Still, I never doubted his love....ever. There were no questions in that regard. The dedication to the job, however, was another matter. Some people are victims of their own impulses and urges. That's just the way it is.
I don't think I ever made a declarative, out-loud statement of what I wanted to be as a Dad. I just knew that I didn't ever want my daughter to question one single damn thing about her Daddy's dedication to her as a person or the job of being a father. Life is tough enough without wondering whether or not your rock can support the weight of whatever you pile on it, ya dig? It was also of equal importance to me that my wife knew the same. We both have "daddy issues", & I want her to always be able to count on me.
Lord knows I've had my vices at various stages of my life- some of them illegal and dangerous and some just old fashioned dumb, but I was able to walk away from all of that at 8:34 am on June 18th, 2004. A little girl locked eyes with me, and I fell in love so damn hard. She latched onto my finger during those first few moments and she's never let go. She still holds my hand like that quite often even a day before her 14th birthday.
The easiest and most important decision I've ever made in my life locked firmly in place that day. I picked up a new vice- my baby girl and my family. I'm still addicted to horror movies (hell, movies in general), a good book, sleeping too long, foul language, Clemson Tiger football, writing, & talking to hear my head rattle. I have a ton of obsessions but only one vice. It's definitely made me pretty antisocial (especially when compared to my hard partying days when I truly lived up to the reputation of Danny Monroe's kid). I can't help that. Here at home in my peaceful kingdom with two astonishing ladies is the only place I want to be anymore.
It's so much more satisfying than anything that ever got me high or got me off, that's for damn sure.