Movie Review: "Hemet, or The Landlady Don't Drink Tea" (2024)

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea Movie Review

Written by Stuart D. Monroe

Released by Charybdis Pictures

Directed by Tony Olmos

Written by Brian Patrick Butler

2024, 89 minutes, Not Rated

Currently screening in the festival circuit

Starring:

Kimberly Weinberger as Rosie Perkins

Brian Patrick Butler as Liz Topham-Myrtle

Nick Young as Tank

Matthew Rhodes as Gary

Pierce Wallace as Howie Stumpp

Aleksander D'Avignon as Jason

Aimee La Joie as Kate Myrtle

Randy Davidson as Sheriff Hunting

Review:

If you’d told me that there was such a thing as satirical fairy tale horror, I’d initially have laughed in your face. Not because those elements don’t mix, mind you- it’s just that it would be exceedingly difficult to pull it off with any degree of logic or continuity.

I stand (mostly) corrected.

Liz is one ugly bitch on many levels

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is a film conceived during the pandemic that revolves around a small apartment block in the nowhere town of Hemet, California (a very real place) and its tyrannical landlord, Liz Topham-Myrtle (played in heavy old-age makeup drag by the film’s writer, Brian Patrick Butler). In the film, a varied group of tenants suffers under the double yoke of Liz’s whims and financial despair while suffering through a pandemic of their own: across the country, “psycho-active bath salts” have become all the rage, and leg-eating zombies are roaming the streets and countryside. Everyone is between the proverbial rock and a hard place, and Liz is taking full advantage of the social crisis to fatten her pocketbook.

Make no mistake about it, this is a film that’s clearly a product of that awful time we all suffered during the pandemic. It’s another slice of biting satire from Brian Patrick Butler (Friend of the World) that delivers a heavily Trumpian lead villain with the quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and utterly amoral Liz. The protagonist (and only other strongly developed character) is Rosie Perkins (Kimberly Weinberger), an everyday type of woman who’s just trying to get by while dealing with the same financial woes and a deadbeat, abusive musician boyfriend. She soon becomes the main target of Liz’s attacks as the self-contained community devolves into madness and murder. Rosie is no pushover, however, and Liz will soon find that she’s met her match.

Just another good old boy

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea is one mean mother of an absurdly surrealistic fairy tale set in a world that’s a little too close to the tone of the one we live in today despite the fact that it’s so damn far out there. The characters are archetypes, especially redneck shithead Tank (Nick Young; Friend of the World) in another wicked turn. This dude just nails menacing and amoral. The writer-in-drag really is the centerpiece of the film, though; you vacillate between laughing like a loony at Liz’s antics while wanting to smash her face in with a hammer simply because she’s so manipulative and despicable. And those one-liners? Sweet baby Jesus on a tricycle, there’s some quotable shit going down in this movie.

Yeah, it’s allegorical as hell all right. The lens you’re viewing through is warped and wavery, but the message is loud and clear and not very encouraging. To that end, it’s an unbelievably relatable film even when it goes viciously off the rails in the third act as it becomes more of a straight horror film. The SFX are definitely on a shoestring budget, but that’s okay…we’re not here for big production value. Instead, we’re here for that surreal satire that Brian Patrick Butler’s writing is becoming known for. I’d love to see what he could do with more resources at his disposal with a creative blade that sharp.

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea won’t be everyone’s cup of tea for sure, but for those of us who understand just how fucked we are in America in 2024 they’ll find a spirit and razor-sharp wit that is hard to deny. I’m on board for more.

Hemet, or the Landlady Don’t Drink Tea recently screened at the 13th Annual Oceanside International Film Festival.

Grade:

3.5 out of 5.0 stars